Frequently Misheard Lyrics

[John Battles]

Maybe you've heard of , or seen , the book "'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy" , about "Frequently" misheard lyrics , when maybe a half - dozen or so entries were ever heard that way by anyone other than the compilers , such as : 

"There's a bathroom on the right" ("There's a bad moon on the rise").

When I was in Junior High , "Miss You" was a big deal , even though I was about the only kid in my school who even liked The Stones.

"I've been haulin' ass along" -  ("I've Been Holdin' out so long") ("ASS" was still a big deal in the 70's).

 

The band , Le Roux, were briefly popular with "I'm Addicted".

"I 'm a dickhead , baby"   ( "I'm addicted , baby."). There's no way they did'nt plan it that way.

 

And , one could write a book on the Ramones (I already wrote an article...).

 

"They're formin' in a straight ine , they're goin' to the car wash."  ("They're formin' in a straight line , they're goin' thru a tight line." )   ("Blitzkrieg Bop.").

 

"Shot in Vietnam , I'm doin' fine"   ("Shock treatment , I'm doing fine.") ("Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment").

 

"I Can't Give You Anything" ("You think I'm kind of cute , but , who's gonna bring home the ludes ?" ("...But , who'e gonna bring home the loot ?")  .

 

"Hey , hey , hey , what is it on the TV ?" ("HEY , HEY , HEY , WHY IS IT ALWAYS THIS WAY ?". )    "Why Is It Always This Way?".

 

Then there's ....."Final Solution" , Pere Ubu . "Don't need a cure , and I don't need a cure , and I don't need a cure , I need a final solution."     ("Don't need a car , and I don't need a job , and I don't need a girl , I need a final solution"....That said it all , for me , when I first heard it in my teens. Even if I was wrong.).

 

Sex Pistols "New York" "An imitation made of Cheech and Chong."  ("..Cheese and chalk.")

                                  "You porno faggots"  ("You poor little faggots".).

 

X - "Universal Corner"  "Scream in agony" ( "Screaming "Magdalene").

 

"Nausea"    "Take this , this is all they had." ("Take the scissors , saw the head.").

 

"Johnny Hit and Run Pauline"  "He bought a sterilized light bulb"  ("Sterilized Hypo" - That was'nt mine , that was on a lyric sheet for a band I was auditioning with.).

 

You get the idea , let's see some of yours.

 

 

[John Battles]

That's pretty funny , Ken. I thought , when I first heard "Sympathy For The Devil" , he said

"Killed THOR and his Ministers , anaesthesia screamed in vain" !

[Ken]

Hah!  I think the secret is out.  Mick and Keif are comic book nerds and have been trying to us so subliminally for years.

[John Battles]

Dictators "Two Tub Man" - "They all know that I'm the one , not to let your son become."

                                      "They all know that I'm the one , knocks 'em dead til Sunday comes"

Years ago , some Rock Writer (I forget , but James Porter remembers, who.) said "As the Dictators put it , "Playing in a heavy band gets humongous." , when the line was "Playing in a heavy band , guess I'm just...I GUESS I'M JUST ...I GUESS I'M JUST A ...TWO TUB MAN !!!!!". Don't get me wrong , I'm not to trump paid Rock Critics....Just because I told Greg Kot that Roky Erickson's 2005 Chicago debut was just that , the first time he'd ever played here.

[Wendy]

I always used to think the song THANK YOU by Barry and the Remains said: " I want to thank you for giving me everykind of lovin'..this whole world."  Instead of .."Every kind of lovin' that I know."

[John Battles]

I almost forgot one of my favorites....

"Got My Mojo Workin'" by Muddy Waters. OK , I KNEW he was'nt saying what it SOUNDED like he was saying.......

What Muddy Waters actually sang:

"I'm goin' down to Louisiana to get me a mojo hand. I'm gonna have all you women ret'chunder (Right under) my command...".

What it sounded like (To me.) "I'm gonna have all you women RETCHIN' at my command !".

 

[John E. Midnight]

Manfred Mann's "Blinded by the Light"

..."deuce", not "DOUCHE"

[John Battles]

 Yea , that's what I always thought , until I heard Springsteen's constipated original ...."Wrrreecccked up like a Deuchhe ANUDDER RUMOR IN DA' NIGHT...", then I had second thoughts....But the thought of it NOT being "Deuce" was too good to be true. I only learned , a year or two ago , saying "Douche" is like saying "and" , today. Time was , it was right at the top of the list , outside of George Carlin's "7 Words", of words you just did'nt say , unless you had a good alibi. 

[b0nes tra5hyf]

The Cure's Mint Car from Wild Mood Swings - at the beginning of the song- "...then here with you its perfect, its all i ever wanted, oh i almost couldn't believe that its for real, so kiss me queer" But maybe he's really singing "so pinch me quick" on the last lyric there?

[b0nes tra5hyf]

Ha ha ha, that's a classic misheard lyric. Wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night...

John E. Midnight said:

Manfred Mann's "Blinded by the Light"

..."deuce", not "DOUCHE"

[The Pulsebeats]

Used to love this round in Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Ever wondered what Elvis Costello and Ten Tudor Pole sang?

[John Battles]

I THOUGHT IT SOUNDED LIKE "And little early birdie came by anus curly whirly , and asked me if I needed a ride", too ....

Here's a good one - "You Don't Know (How Young You Are)" 13th Floor Elevators.

"Her daily life revolves around a thousand petty hassles"

"Her daily life revolves around a thousand EDDIE HASKELLS.".
 
b0nes tra5hyf said:

Ha ha ha, that's a classic misheard lyric. Wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night...

John E. Midnight said:

Manfred Mann's "Blinded by the Light"

..."deuce", not "DOUCHE"

[John Battles]

This one's weird.....Kind of , well , VERY grusome , so if you're easily grossed out , please ignore.

 

 

OK , i got 'em now.....

Screamin' Jay Hawkins' "Feast of The Mau Mau" - I always believed it to go (And still do.)

"Pull the skin off your friend with a razor blade"

Wait. It gets worse....

Someone swore that it went "Pull the STEM off your friend with a razor blade."

I said , "Stem?" , she said , "Yeah ,you know , dick !". Either that , or Jay greatly enjoyed Australian bands. But , his comments on touring with Nick Cave would suggest otherwise.