Frequently Misheard Lyrics

[John Battles]

Maybe you've heard of , or seen , the book "'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy" , about "Frequently" misheard lyrics , when maybe a half - dozen or so entries were ever heard that way by anyone other than the compilers , such as : 

"There's a bathroom on the right" ("There's a bad moon on the rise").

When I was in Junior High , "Miss You" was a big deal , even though I was about the only kid in my school who even liked The Stones.

"I've been haulin' ass along" -  ("I've Been Holdin' out so long") ("ASS" was still a big deal in the 70's).

 

The band , Le Roux, were briefly popular with "I'm Addicted".

"I 'm a dickhead , baby"   ( "I'm addicted , baby."). There's no way they did'nt plan it that way.

 

And , one could write a book on the Ramones (I already wrote an article...).

 

"They're formin' in a straight ine , they're goin' to the car wash."  ("They're formin' in a straight line , they're goin' thru a tight line." )   ("Blitzkrieg Bop.").

 

"Shot in Vietnam , I'm doin' fine"   ("Shock treatment , I'm doing fine.") ("Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment").

 

"I Can't Give You Anything" ("You think I'm kind of cute , but , who's gonna bring home the ludes ?" ("...But , who'e gonna bring home the loot ?")  .

 

"Hey , hey , hey , what is it on the TV ?" ("HEY , HEY , HEY , WHY IS IT ALWAYS THIS WAY ?". )    "Why Is It Always This Way?".

 

Then there's ....."Final Solution" , Pere Ubu . "Don't need a cure , and I don't need a cure , and I don't need a cure , I need a final solution."     ("Don't need a car , and I don't need a job , and I don't need a girl , I need a final solution"....That said it all , for me , when I first heard it in my teens. Even if I was wrong.).

 

Sex Pistols "New York" "An imitation made of Cheech and Chong."  ("..Cheese and chalk.")

                                  "You porno faggots"  ("You poor little faggots".).

 

X - "Universal Corner"  "Scream in agony" ( "Screaming "Magdalene").

 

"Nausea"    "Take this , this is all they had." ("Take the scissors , saw the head.").

 

"Johnny Hit and Run Pauline"  "He bought a sterilized light bulb"  ("Sterilized Hypo" - That was'nt mine , that was on a lyric sheet for a band I was auditioning with.).

 

You get the idea , let's see some of yours.

 

 

[John Battles]

i THOUGHT OF SOME MORE RAMONES MISINTERPRETATIONS FROM MY YOUTH (I MOSTLY HAD THE PORTUGESE RECORDS AND TAPES THAT HAD NO LYRIC SHETS.), John.

 

Cretin Hop - "WE'RE THE NUMBER ONE RELIGION."

                 "GONNA GO FOR A WHIRL WITH MY CRETIN GIRL" .

 

Glad To See You Go - "Don't want you cause you're a whore."   "......a bore".

oh , oh , I Love Her So- "SO i TOOK HER TO CARNY TOWN" "So I took the car downtown.".

 

Carbona Not Glue "Ran out of Paint and rug spray , too" "Ran out of paint and roach spray , too" . (Dan Clowes used this same gag in the original "Ghost World " COMIC WHEN Enid"Goes Punk" for a day.)

 

What's Your Game "I thought you were the one to be , just like the othergirls , you see".

                           "And all you ever want to be is like the other girls you see" (It's not funny , because it still works.).

 

Commando - First rule is - no lox in Germany.

                   Second rule is - been Nazi bombin'

                   Third  rule is - Don't Go to College

                     Fourth Rule is -  it's not quite knowledge.

 

53rd and 3rd  "Now The cops are after me , but I pretend I'm on TV".      

                   '......BUT , i PROVED THAT i'M NO SISSY".   

 

It's Not My Place (In The  9 TO 5 WORLD) -  "Roger Corman's on a talk show , with Alan Arkbush and Steven King, you know".

"With ALAN ALDA and Steven King..."

 

All is Qiet on The Eastern Front -   'Can't you think ,I'm a movie star."

                                                   "Get your feet , I'm all messed up."

                                               (Can't you think , my movements talk....)

We're a Happy Family "Cokin' down Broad Street " " Gulpin' Down Thorazines"

                                ''Our Christmas Card's a Sin " "No Christmas to send..."  

  Why is it Always This Way?   "Hey , Hey , Hey. What is it on the TV?"   

                                            "Hey , Hey , Hey , why is it always this way?"

                                         "And she swallowed a bottle of formaldehyde".

                                     "Now she's lying in a bottle of formaldehyde".              

[Don]

The other threads got me thinking Beatles. The sheet music to I Want to Hold Your Hand says "Its such a feeling that my love, I can't hide."  I always hear (to this day) "I get high."

And no band of the sixties would do Wooly Bully without screamin out "hand job."  What Sam really cried out I have no idea.

:)

-Don

[John Battles]

Don , I don't know where "Handjob" came from (Tho' rumor had it "Juju Hand" was  about hand jobs.). Do you mean where he said 'Hattie told Mattie"..... I heard "I wanna Hold Your Hand " as "I get high", or , rather , a clever way to make it SOUND like that. Of course , a year later , "It's Only Love"said "I get High when I see you go by"....

We used to laughour asses off to (sic) "Gie Liebe Dicht" , or "She Loves You" in German. "She Lick Dick , YEAH ! YEAH ! YEAH !".
 
Don said:

The other threads got me thinking Beatles. The sheet music to I Want to Hold Your Hand says "Its such a feeling that my love, I can't hide."  I always hear (to this day) "I get high."

And no band of the sixties would do Wooly Bully without screamin out "hand job."  What Sam really cried out I have no idea.

:)

-Don

[RJFait]

This is funny. Other that "don't need a cure" I can't imagine anyone actually thinking any of these are the correct lyrics. I had a friend who thought "Kind of a Drag" was an advert for ginger ale. "Canada Dry, when your baby don't love you." I've known quite a few people who that The Dicks were racist because they heard one letter different in "I hate cops, they're all fucking piggers." The first time I saw "The Wall" I misheard "Digger" and thought, "What a horrible name for a dog... and it's not even black."

[John Battles]

The Dicks , tho' I never cared for 'em much , were anything but racist. Tho' I did hear some White Power music fans say The Dicks were White Power because they wore Klan robes , which was a joke , of course. Don't think the KKK would've been to thrilled to have a Gay Cross - dresser as a supporter. I did'nt know how to bring it up , but there are , of course , several songs that SOUND like they contain the "N" WORD. "Good Guys Don't Wear White" by The Standells. My friend who was in HS when that  came out said EVERYONE thought  they said that...I thought "In The Middle of The Night" by MADNESS WAS ABOUT A NATIONAL FRONT - TYPE , BUT, LATER REALIZED HE WAS SAYING " Nicker(s)" , something we don't say in the states , meaning underwear....It's an "Arnold Layne" type story.HA HA HA.
 
RJFait said:

This is funny. Other that "don't need a cure" I can't imagine anyone actually thinking any of these are the correct lyrics. I had a friend who thought "Kind of a Drag" was an advert for ginger ale. "Canada Dry, when your baby don't love you." I've known quite a few people who that The Dicks were racist because they heard one letter different in "I hate cops, they're all fucking piggers." The first time I saw "The Wall" I misheard "Digger" and thought, "What a horrible name for a dog... and it's not even black."

[RJFait]

Speaking of Madness, there was also "the naziest sound around." Let's pretend they weren't on Two Tone Records and that 'naziest' is even a real word.

John Battles said:

The Dicks , tho' I never cared for 'em much , were anything but racist. Tho' I did hear some White Power music fans say The Dicks were White Power because they wore Klan robes , which was a joke , of course. Don't think the KKK would've been to thrilled to have a Gay Cross - dresser as a supporter. I did'nt know how to bring it up , but there are , of course , several songs that SOUND like they contain the "N" WORD. "Good Guys Don't Wear White" by The Standells. My friend who was in HS when that  came out said EVERYONE thought  they said that...I thought "In The Middle of The Night" by MADNESS WAS ABOUT A NATIONAL FRONT - TYPE , BUT, LATER REALIZED HE WAS SAYING " Nicker(s)" , something we don't say in the states , meaning underwear....It's an "Arnold Layne" type story.HA HA HA.
 
RJFait said:

This is funny. Other that "don't need a cure" I can't imagine anyone actually thinking any of these are the correct lyrics. I had a friend who thought "Kind of a Drag" was an advert for ginger ale. "Canada Dry, when your baby don't love you." I've known quite a few people who that The Dicks were racist because they heard one letter different in "I hate cops, they're all fucking piggers." The first time I saw "The Wall" I misheard "Digger" and thought, "What a horrible name for a dog... and it's not even black."

[IDON MINE]

Oh man, couple a good ones there, hahaha!

RJFait said:

Speaking of Madness, there was also "the naziest sound around." Let's pretend they weren't on Two Tone Records and that 'naziest' is even a real word.

John Battles said:

The Dicks , tho' I never cared for 'em much , were anything but racist. Tho' I did hear some White Power music fans say The Dicks were White Power because they wore Klan robes , which was a joke , of course. Don't think the KKK would've been to thrilled to have a Gay Cross - dresser as a supporter. I did'nt know how to bring it up , but there are , of course , several songs that SOUND like they contain the "N" WORD. "Good Guys Don't Wear White" by The Standells. My friend who was in HS when that  came out said EVERYONE thought  they said that...I thought "In The Middle of The Night" by MADNESS WAS ABOUT A NATIONAL FRONT - TYPE , BUT, LATER REALIZED HE WAS SAYING " Nicker(s)" , something we don't say in the states , meaning underwear....It's an "Arnold Layne" type story.HA HA HA.
 
RJFait said:

This is funny. Other that "don't need a cure" I can't imagine anyone actually thinking any of these are the correct lyrics. I had a friend who thought "Kind of a Drag" was an advert for ginger ale. "Canada Dry, when your baby don't love you." I've known quite a few people who that The Dicks were racist because they heard one letter different in "I hate cops, they're all fucking piggers." The first time I saw "The Wall" I misheard "Digger" and thought, "What a horrible name for a dog... and it's not even black."

[John Battles]

 What's funny , tho' I'm centuries past caring about Madness , I read that they DID have a following among members The National Front , not at their own solicitation , of course.

Reportedly , they took an apolitical stance regarding their prescence at gigs. I'm sure they were pressured to say or do something ,as Rock Against Racism was in full gear. They were in a unique , somewhat unlikeable , position , being the only Two - Tone band with no Black members. That was frowned upon , somewhat. But , "The Naziest sound around !" , that's very funny !

[antonio]

Funny thread, and the funniest is that we non-native speakers are always trying to interpret, decipher or fitting any possible phrases to the vocal melody. One hilarious example has to do with RATM's "killing in the name". In the chorus he sings "now you do what they told ya" and the phonetics are quite close to the phrase in Spanish "la guatona tetona" which would mean something like "the big-titted fatty". When a kid, whenever it was broadcast we would always laugh and sing it aloud.

And, there's another example with Grease's "You're the one that I want" but it's a bit gross.

Cheers.

[The Nevermores]

when I was a kid my friend mark told me about a song by the rolling stones called "I ain't Jeff" turned out to be "angie"

also a great mishearing of steve miller's big ol jet air liner:

"BINGO JET HAD A LIGHT ON"

[John Battles]

The Stevie Miller thing is great. My Brother pulled a Chris Farley on Miller , once - "Stevie Miller! When you did "Big Ol Jet Airliner"...THAT WAS AWESOME !!!". And he BOUGHT it ,too!.
The Nevermores said:

when I was a kid my friend mark told me about a song by the rolling stones called "I ain't Jeff" turned out to be "angie"

also a great mishearing of steve miller's big ol jet air liner:

"BINGO JET HAD A LIGHT ON"

[John Battles]

"Hot and Nasty" , Black Oak Arkansas - "They call me hot and nasty , they call me Mr. Pansy.".       Actual lyric - "They call me Mr. Fancy".

Johnny Thunders (And Walter Lure's Heroes) "Too Much Junkie Business"

"Your the coolest thing in town , with your face flat on the ground. Friends went through your pockets as the coffee went down...."

"...AS THE COFFIN WENT DOWN".

( I thought they were saying "Coffee" in reference the suposedly surefire way to revive an OD victim by pouring hot coffee down their throat , which , reportedly , is how original Dolls Drummer, Billy Murcia , died. ).

 

"Honky Tonk Women" , YOU KNOW WHO. "I laid a Divorcee in New York City..."

                                 "I LATER DID THE SAME IN NEW YORK CITY....". 

 

"Whiskey In The Jar" (Trad.) - Dubliners , Thin Lizzy.

" I first produced me pistol , and then produced my rapier." 

"And then produced my razor.''.

 

David Bowie - "Hang on To Yourself" -     "And we move around like tigers on vaseline"

                "If you like f*gg*ts and vaseline".  I'm sorry , that IS what it sounded like until I saw the actual lyrics.

 

"All The Madmen "- "My libido split on me , give me some good old lobotomy."

                           "And The Beatles split on me...." (Very topical for 1971.)

"Ziggy Stardust" - "He could lick 'em by smiling....." . Do I have to say it?

                           "The kids were just crass"     "The kids were just crap.".

 

"Suffragette City"  "AW , DOOGIE , DON'T CRASH HERE"  

                           "There's usually dope 'round here....".

 "Width of a Circle"    'To which he laughed insane "Kahlil Gibran".

                           "To which he laughed and said "God's will , children."

 

Romeo Void (I forget the song.)    "Get THAT JERK OFF YOUR MIND" (Do I have to say it?).