Frequently Misheard Lyrics

[John Battles]

Maybe you've heard of , or seen , the book "'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy" , about "Frequently" misheard lyrics , when maybe a half - dozen or so entries were ever heard that way by anyone other than the compilers , such as : 

"There's a bathroom on the right" ("There's a bad moon on the rise").

When I was in Junior High , "Miss You" was a big deal , even though I was about the only kid in my school who even liked The Stones.

"I've been haulin' ass along" -  ("I've Been Holdin' out so long") ("ASS" was still a big deal in the 70's).

 

The band , Le Roux, were briefly popular with "I'm Addicted".

"I 'm a dickhead , baby"   ( "I'm addicted , baby."). There's no way they did'nt plan it that way.

 

And , one could write a book on the Ramones (I already wrote an article...).

 

"They're formin' in a straight ine , they're goin' to the car wash."  ("They're formin' in a straight line , they're goin' thru a tight line." )   ("Blitzkrieg Bop.").

 

"Shot in Vietnam , I'm doin' fine"   ("Shock treatment , I'm doing fine.") ("Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment").

 

"I Can't Give You Anything" ("You think I'm kind of cute , but , who's gonna bring home the ludes ?" ("...But , who'e gonna bring home the loot ?")  .

 

"Hey , hey , hey , what is it on the TV ?" ("HEY , HEY , HEY , WHY IS IT ALWAYS THIS WAY ?". )    "Why Is It Always This Way?".

 

Then there's ....."Final Solution" , Pere Ubu . "Don't need a cure , and I don't need a cure , and I don't need a cure , I need a final solution."     ("Don't need a car , and I don't need a job , and I don't need a girl , I need a final solution"....That said it all , for me , when I first heard it in my teens. Even if I was wrong.).

 

Sex Pistols "New York" "An imitation made of Cheech and Chong."  ("..Cheese and chalk.")

                                  "You porno faggots"  ("You poor little faggots".).

 

X - "Universal Corner"  "Scream in agony" ( "Screaming "Magdalene").

 

"Nausea"    "Take this , this is all they had." ("Take the scissors , saw the head.").

 

"Johnny Hit and Run Pauline"  "He bought a sterilized light bulb"  ("Sterilized Hypo" - That was'nt mine , that was on a lyric sheet for a band I was auditioning with.).

 

You get the idea , let's see some of yours.

 

 

[Mark George Harrison]

I should've guessed that JB, obvious really. Memphis, Micks home town??

John Battles said:

Thank you , M.G.    -     A "SLAB" OR "FULL SLAB" IS A FULL ORDER OF PORK OR BEEF RIBS.    A Half - slab , half of the same.....

I'm surprised they have'nt mentioned that on that program. If they REALLY wanted to see "Man vs. Food" , they should have see me tear away at a full slab at Rendezvous Barbecue in Memphis (Where , just by chance , The Stones have been known to get their 'cue on.).
 
Mark George Harrison said:

You never fail to put a smile on my face JB! What is a 'full slab?' never heard of that before, and Ive watched a lot of 'man versus food!'

John Battles said:

 No , it's true. Mick is from The Deep South . He led the big migration to England that was later followed by The Walker Bros. , Jimi Hendrix , Suzi Quatro and Sparks. He had to take a course in Assimilation , though when he attended The London College of Economics. IN OTHER WORDS , WHEREAS AN ENGLISH PERSON MIGHT SAY "BANGERS AND MASH , PLEASE" , MICK WOULD HAVE SAID , "A FULL SLAB , WITH LOUISIANA HOT SAUCE , CORNBREAD , AND WHAT SIDES HAVE YOU GOT?".

 "TEA , milk and sugar , with lemon , if you will".        "Sweet tea , ma'am"

 " I SAY , I DON'T ARF FANCY HER !"    "Gaaahhh damn ! She's hot as July Jam".

" I quite like Muddy Waters on Chess Records , me. It'd be an HONOUR  to share the same stage with him , one day....AHHHHH. As if that'll ever happen." 

"Muddy Waters? I filled his car up with Regular , once. Purdy good guy to shoot the shit with.".

 Mark George Harrison said:

Are you trying to imply Micks not from the deep south JB? The ever changing Jagger voice has always amused me, from well spoken middle class young man to naughty cockney to cringe inducing faux American accent. Still, when you've got his money!

John Battles said:

Mark George ,    WHA' , Y'MEAN , SOUTH OF LONDON?

I've been too busy to just look it up , but , for eons (That's aoens in Yankeese.)

 I thought Jagger was saying " I'm gonna hit and run rape her in anger"
(In "Midnight Rambler" ) , which , I thought , even for him , was misogynistic as Hell , though , obviously , not coming from the First Person P.O.V. , but from a role played in the song.     But , then , it occured to me , he was probably saying "Rapier" , as he's reading off a list of weapons ( " Knife - sharpened tipee - toe , shoot 'em dead....cloak and dagger....stick my knife right down your throat".).

I also thought an audience member was saying "CODS , HAM !!! CODS , HAM !!!" , BUT , Rock'n'Roll fucks upyour ears.

Mark George Harrison said:

Sorry JB, I did wonder at you getting something wrong!

A lot of Jaggers lyrics are hard to decipher due to his 'southern drawl!'

John Battles said:

THAT'S WHAT i WAS SAYING  , THAT THE CORRECT WORD WAS RAPIER , THE WAY I ORIGINALLY HEARD IT , THOUGH , WAS RAZOR.   FROM "HONKY TONK WOMEN ON , IT'S CORRECT LYRIC , FIRST.           ANYONE WANT TO TACKLE "MIDNIGHT RAMBLER , AND STAY FASHIONABLE , WHILE WE'RE AT IT?
 
Mark George Harrison said:

Whiskey in the jar is rapier JB, not razor. 

John Battles said:

"Hot and Nasty" , Black Oak Arkansas - "They call me hot and nasty , they call me Mr. Pansy.".       Actual lyric - "They call me Mr. Fancy".

Johnny Thunders (And Walter Lure's Heroes) "Too Much Junkie Business"

"Your the coolest thing in town , with your face flat on the ground. Friends went through your pockets as the coffee went down...."

"...AS THE COFFIN WENT DOWN".

( I thought they were saying "Coffee" in reference the suposedly surefire way to revive an OD victim by pouring hot coffee down their throat , which , reportedly , is how original Dolls Drummer, Billy Murcia , died. ).

 

"Honky Tonk Women" , YOU KNOW WHO. "I laid a Divorcee in New York City..."

                                 "I LATER DID THE SAME IN NEW YORK CITY....". 

 

"Whiskey In The Jar" (Trad.) - Dubliners , Thin Lizzy.

" I first produced me pistol , and then produced my rapier." 

"And then produced my razor.''.

 

David Bowie - "Hang on To Yourself" -     "And we move around like tigers on vaseline"

                "If you like f*gg*ts and vaseline".  I'm sorry , that IS what it sounded like until I saw the actual lyrics.

 

"All The Madmen "- "My libido split on me , give me some good old lobotomy."

                           "And The Beatles split on me...." (Very topical for 1971.)

"Ziggy Stardust" - "He could lick 'em by smiling....." . Do I have to say it?

                           "The kids were just crass"     "The kids were just crap.".

 

"Suffragette City"  "AW , DOOGIE , DON'T CRASH HERE"  

                           "There's usually dope 'round here....".

 "Width of a Circle"    'To which he laughed insane "Kahlil Gibran".

                           "To which he laughed and said "God's will , children."

 

Romeo Void (I forget the song.)    "Get THAT JERK OFF YOUR MIND" (Do I have to say it?).

 

[John Battles]

"Well , yeeeeaahh. I hung quite a bit down at Sun Studios. Sam Phillips would'nt even let me record there. I said , well , Sam , I mean , Mr. Phillips , who are you leasing all these great Blues records by Howlin' Wolf and Pat Hare and Ike Turner to , anyway ? He told me about these two Polish immigrants in Chicago , had a little label , up there. I thought Polish cats in Chicago only made Polka records , man !  But , me an' Keef , he's from Memphis , too , y'know , we had to get our arses up to Chicago , and THAT's when Keef found out , right , about Chuck Berry. Fuck me , man , he aped Chuck so good , he  got to be his fuckin' bandleader in that movie , right? But , Chuck did'nt wanna sound like Chuck no more , and , you know , we did'nt wanna sound like The Stones no more , neither , but we got past that with "A Bigger Bang" , which I think only sold about a half a mil. Were'nt Don Was' fault , man , it's a great record. Maybe , next one , we can do at Sun Studio. I mean , what ? Sam Phillips is gonna turn us away?         Mick Jagger .

[Stoned Again Productions]

War, Spill The Wine.  The 1st 100+ times I heard it when it was new I thought the lyrics were Do I dig that girl instead of Spill the wine dig that pearl.  Also the Rick Derringer song Rock n Roll Hoochie Koo, Come on a little closer, gonna do it to you  sounded like Come on a little puzzy, gonna do it to you. But I think that was on purpose so it would sound like that.

[John Battles]

I thought the same of "Spill The Wine " , too.....Not that it would'nt work that way.
Believe it or not , I still had yet to hear any of The Animals ' hits when Ifirst heard "Spill the Wine' , so , I thought it was (maybe) Mick Jagger singing. I'll have to pay close attention , next time I here R'n'R HK.....tHANKS FOR POSTING THE CLIPS....I'VE GOT A REALLY GOOD ONE , SOMEWHERE OF ERIC AND WAR , WHERE HE IMPROVISES A LITTLE ON THE LYRICS....Sometimes he does that a little , sometimes too damn much. 
Stoned Again Productions said:

War, Spill The Wine.  The 1st 100+ times I heard it when it was new I thought the lyrics were Do I dig that girl instead of Spill the wine dig that pearl.  Also the Rick Derringer song Rock n Roll Hoochie Koo, Come on a little closer, gonna do it to you  sounded like Come on a little puzzy, gonna do it to you. But I think that was on purpose so it would sound like that.

[John Carlucci]

Okay, when I was a kid, I thought Creedence were saying "There's a bathroom on the right" (Bad Moon Rising) lol!

[the VANES]

"Don't have to live like a referee."

[John Battles]

Never thought about that....But , there's only one set of Heartbreakers to me , and Tom Petty was'nt frontin' 'em. When we were deluged with Petty on the radio in the very late 70's - 80's , I'm sure a LOT of his songs were misheard , in humorous ways. Granted , compared to a lot of the crap that passed for "Rock" at that time , I guess Petty's early hits did'nt age THAT badly.....

Eagles "Life in The Fast Lane" - "We've been up and down this highway , have'nt seen a goddamn thing"   "We've been up and down this highway , have'nt seen The Camptown Race".

[John Battles]

'LITTLE ARROWS" LEAPY LEE.  

"sOME FOLKS PUT ON ARMOUR , BUT THE ARROWS GO RIGHT THROUGH."

"SOME FOLKS PUT ON ABBA....." 

 

"THAT YOU'LL LOVE THOSE LITTLE ARROWS WHEN THEY HURT A LITTLE BIT"

"....WHEN THEY HURT A LITTLE BITCH.".       SORRY , THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE....

[John Battles]

"Here We Go 'Round The Lemon Tree", The Move - "Here We Go 'round the Lavatory* "

* (Pron. "Lavva - Tree" in England.)

[John Battles]

"White Man in Hammersmith Palais" - The Clash .

"But it was fucked up all night"

"But it was Four Tops All Night".

[John Choples]

Years ago a friend of mine heard this lyric as 'It's the Return of the Vulture', which amused me no end, as I remember there being a Spiderman story of the same name way back in the 60's.  In a similar punk/animal vein, another friend thought the Sham 69 line 'Hurry up Harry, come on', was 'Hurry up, hairy camel'. 

John Battles said:

It's funny you should say that , an old ex - friend and I were listening to "Alternative Ulster " , and he heard it as "A tail of RED LOBSTER " ! Jake Burns is , or was , living here in town...I wonder if anyone ever told him that.
 
SarahJayne said:

"a tale of a lobster" ~ an old friends mom's rendition of Stiff Little Fingers 'alternative ulster'

[Marko Solo]

Small faces: lazy Sunday

How's your bird's lumbago?

Should be 'how's your berts lumbago?

I thought birds could get lumbago, probably can now I've said that.