I REALLY WANT TO ROB A BANK

[Andy Motor Sounds]

I really really want to rob a fucking bank, its not that money's important to me, it's that its important to them.I've just always wanted to rob a bank and get away with it. Is it any wonder all those London gangsters were so fucking smug, living it up on the riviera spending the banks money, getting fat, sunburnt and pissed. If that was me, I'd walk around with a smile that made my face look like it was cut in half for the rest of my life, and I'd never lift a fucking finger again because nothing, nothing would be able to surpass the feeling of stealing money from a bank.

Say it out loud, you reading this!! Yes you, say it out loud, "STEALING MONEY FROM A BANK", feels good doesn't it. Think about it when your alone, it feels fucking great. Imagine doing it, convince yourself you've done it, you'll fuck like a beast afterwards.

My entire family, way back hundreds of years ago were all highway men, due to their land being stole from them because they wouldn't pay rent to the crown so they turned to robbing and killing, and by all accounts they where really fucking good at it, until they all got caught and hung (I'm not making this up, its all there in the National Libary in Dublin). I think that gene is still in me, not that I'm a robbing fucker, but stealing money from a bank or the crown, I personally have absolutly no problem with it, in fact I applaud it.

Anybody who knows me, knows what I think of banks, I'm a bank hating bore when I get drunk. They've manouvered themselves into a position of power and completely abused it, they've fucking robbed the people they're supposed to offer a 'service' to to the point of insanity, they are without consious, remorse or the ability to mend their ways. They will continue to operate on the brink of illegality without crossing that line, untouchable. And lets face who's gonna touch them, they own everything, governments, people.... blah blah blah, I'm boring myself now.

I could do a Superman (the one with Richard Pryor) and steal a billion penny's, or go in guns blazing, like Billy the Kid (and for the record I have no problem with shooting a few tellers, they're part of the problem, how do you sleep at night), or I could do a David Niven and cat Burgularise the place then nip of to Monte Carlo in my E-type, ah to live the dream.

And just in case your wondering, I haven't 'recenty' been screwed by 'my' bank, I have and everybody I know has consistently been fucked over by every bank I've ever had the mis-fortune of joining, no matter how much money I had in it from pennys to thousands.

They make no distinction between taking £30 from a single parent, struggling to cope, for "Account Maintenance"", what the fuck is that, and taking the same money from a millionaire for the same thing, except they won't take it from the millionaire, but they will happily send the poor person waltzing into the arms of a loan-shark/psych-ward/alcoholisim/drugs*delete as appropriate.

So I do have an axe to grind, but its not a new baby, its an old hag and it ain't going away. Either way, if anybody out there has a good idea, get in touch......I may be interested