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Buckcherry and the J.F.K. Assassination Conspiracy
I'm no elitist, I just give a fuck (or eight) about music.
And while it's easy to bitch for a straight month about the infiltration of assembled, overproduced mediocrity taking the place of music that deserves the attention and passion of human beings to listen, record and be heard, I will make this short.
I just got my Buckcherry popped, because I had no fucking clue these people were crawling around the earth until today. They are the reason for my own degrees of musical xenophobia and deliberate resentment for sounds that come from radios and televisions.
And like a retarded cultural anthropologist or an anthropologist in a retarded culture, I shat my pants and dove headfirst into a reality far from my own. I found their online HQ, complete with a community not *too* alien to ours (mostly just scarily similar layout) and bizarro versions of my hideout friends.
But I'm not even attacking the fans. Poor sons of bitches will never understand the art and beauty of rare finds in unlikely places, meticulous organization or hijacking music at lame parties straight from their own hideout playlist page. I'm talking about the fucking turkeys who defaced Chuck Berry's name and the Dead Kennedys' song 'Too Drunk To Fuck'. These guys look like the male cast of Friends spliced with genes from the dudes of Our Lady Peace, and genuinely make me sad. It'd be funny if they were being sexist in an ironic, Ben Waller way, but it's just disappointing that otherwise perfectly healthy children (and some adults) are running around singing 'Too Drunk To Fuck' and don't know who Jello Biafra is.
I'm not trying to belittle these people - I am genuinely fascinated *and* repulsed. Gloating about your musical prowess is not the point, here. The point is that Chuck Berry and Dead Kennedys deserve a fucking badge of honor for tolerating these turkeys.
And while it's easy to bitch for a straight month about the infiltration of assembled, overproduced mediocrity taking the place of music that deserves the attention and passion of human beings to listen, record and be heard, I will make this short.
I just got my Buckcherry popped, because I had no fucking clue these people were crawling around the earth until today. They are the reason for my own degrees of musical xenophobia and deliberate resentment for sounds that come from radios and televisions.
And like a retarded cultural anthropologist or an anthropologist in a retarded culture, I shat my pants and dove headfirst into a reality far from my own. I found their online HQ, complete with a community not *too* alien to ours (mostly just scarily similar layout) and bizarro versions of my hideout friends.
But I'm not even attacking the fans. Poor sons of bitches will never understand the art and beauty of rare finds in unlikely places, meticulous organization or hijacking music at lame parties straight from their own hideout playlist page. I'm talking about the fucking turkeys who defaced Chuck Berry's name and the Dead Kennedys' song 'Too Drunk To Fuck'. These guys look like the male cast of Friends spliced with genes from the dudes of Our Lady Peace, and genuinely make me sad. It'd be funny if they were being sexist in an ironic, Ben Waller way, but it's just disappointing that otherwise perfectly healthy children (and some adults) are running around singing 'Too Drunk To Fuck' and don't know who Jello Biafra is.
I'm not trying to belittle these people - I am genuinely fascinated *and* repulsed. Gloating about your musical prowess is not the point, here. The point is that Chuck Berry and Dead Kennedys deserve a fucking badge of honor for tolerating these turkeys.
Tags: apocalypse, buckcherry
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1 Comment
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Comment by nick on January 26, 2009 at 3:46pm - i had no idea that "buckcherry" was a spoonerism of "chuck berry." he should shove a guitar up their collective ass while he's still alive.
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